Ughh so tired...but I'll try to explain the best I can.

For literally half a year, I have barely been taking pictures.
It's extremely frustrating after this long of being uninspired.

I'm not even sure I could do this for a living.
I've been fooling myself by telling myself that eventually I will gain some people skills. This sounds really negative but there are some people who go into adulthood not being able to connect very well with other people and who honestly do not enjoy the presence of random people. That is a terrible personality to have if you have to deal with people day in and day out and if you can't communicate very well. Social situations make me extremely nervous all the time. I've just been expecting myself to change eventually but I'm pushing myself away from social situations more and more.


I am very reserved and my head is floating around in books all day...most often books about science. I am extremely interested in black holes and string theory and whatnot. I don't like having a hectic schedule, which goes along with the photography career.

I'm not making excuses, I'm just being realistic.
I enjoy photography when I'm actually inspired. I worry about making a living off something that forces me to have a constant flow of creativity.
I promise you, when I get my hands on more money (I have a job which lasts a couple days to a week and I'll end up with 70 dollars or so) I will be much more creative because when I think about my lack of money I get very frustrated and I lose any creative spark that I start to pick up.


Jesus Christ... I'm terrible at articulating.

Yes...I'm expecting people to try to make easy solutions for me such as suggesting that I go to thrift stores and find some cute outfits there that I can use for my photography. But nothing is that simple. It doesn't fix the fact that I'm probably too anti-social to make a living in the fashion photography industry, too uninspired to create much of anything in 6 months, that I'm terrible at marketing my work....etc. That I would actually enjoy being a scientist.... I'm saying goodbye to a unrealistic career and hello to a career I am more content with, not saying goodbye to photography altogether.